Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
