Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
