I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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