isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
