Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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