Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
