Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
