Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
