elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
