There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
