i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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