don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.