Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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