I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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