it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
