Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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