"it" just moved
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
