so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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