I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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