if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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