So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
