and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
