..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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