Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
