Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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