my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
vagina is talking i cant
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
