Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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