I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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