morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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