So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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