I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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