I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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