Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
