And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
