Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We left the knife in your bed.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
When are your genitals available?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
