the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
