Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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