He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
