You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
