Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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