I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize