I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
