I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
