i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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