wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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