What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
