so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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