who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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