Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
