haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
