why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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