if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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