like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
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Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
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I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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