Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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