i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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