DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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