I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
