do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
