Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
love makes seman taste better
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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