Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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