what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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