At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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