I just cut my nipple shaving
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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