Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
