I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
