I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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